Day 2

American Heart Association CPR. Again! You basically watch this hours-long, ultra-boring video and then test on it. I tried taking notes this time, but it messed me way up. Things move too fast for my witto bwain to write notes AND listen at the same time.

Just beat me with it!!! UUUGHHH!

Our teacher is awesome! He's just a genuinely nice, easy-going guy from Idaho. He's been a paramedic/firefighter for decades. He shares stories. He's just a good guy, and seems to be a good teacher as well. 

That annoying know-it-all re-cert firefighter from my last class? He's back, disguised in the body of a different firefighter with a different name. So help me. Everything he says is OBVIOUS and, if he's sure of the answer, will just blurt it out and not give anyone else a chance. He constantly interrupts the teacher MID- SENTENCE to ask questions that will naturally come up in our line of lecture. Just how insecure are these guys? Chill. Most people already respect you. You don't have to do this, you're better than this.

Anyway, a few people dropped. We have 18 students now, and another girl! 4 girls! Yay! I learned (though, in hindsight, it's like DUH!) that CPR doesn't bring a pulse back. It doesn't "save lives", the AED does. When someone is unconscious and has no pulse, they're dead. When you push on their heart to simulate beating (CPR), you just prolong death. You prevent brain damage, but the patient will expire without getting a shock to re-set the heart's electricity. That's why we're important. We have AEDs - "medicine by Edison". But CPR is still very important too. Do it.

Hopefully I can get a shirt soon! They're fun! 

Re- First Day

Oh my gosh, I thought I was 20 minutes late! But it turned out, class was at 6pm, not 5pm. Great start, AND I met the teacher!

Unfortunate.

So, I'm one of three girls in the class. There are three firefighters, and only 22 students. It's great so far! Everything is smoother. The teachers seem very kind, and very student-oriented. We have their cell phone numbers. The room is spacious. It's a night and day difference from my last course. We have to (get to?) wear uniform shirts again, but they're awesome this time!

CPR class is tomorrow. Already!

I'm nervous as Hell still. We had to give our numbers to (and take some from) other classmates. Our "homies". Ugh. I nearly died just doing that! It was gut-wrenching thinking of making new friends. Meeting new people. It's so much work! Meeting people should come naturally, and be mutually desired, right?

Anyway, I'll stop being a snob and try to get rid of this dread. The teacher
 said something that helped: "Even if you don't get licensed, this is a life skill."

We can start there - just here to learn a life skill. We'll see if I can make it a career/stepping stone toward death investigation.

To be Continued?

Well, a bunch of horrible things happened, and I was dismissed from my program. Pretty sure it was discriminatory. I don't know, but there were a few posts about the fiasco taking up space. I didn't want that to be a prominent feature in my journey (however short it may be), so I've condensed it into one post.
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My teacher has stopped responding. They seem very displeased that I requested to do my ride-along before everything else. I just want to see if I can handle it before re-doing EVERYTHING. The way the school has treated me just hurts. I wish I never mentioned my illness, because then they wouldn't have had a bogus reason for dismissing me.

Right now, I'm signed up to re-take the course. School is starting, and my major is Emergency Management w/emergency services emphasis. I'm terrified, honestly. Even at the height of mental health, my therapist was concerned about the social aspect of the job. Now that I've technically been dismissed for that very reason, I'm discouraged too. I think a lot of returning to mortuary school, but this field is awesome! If I was normal, this would totally be my calling. But I'm just not, and I'm worried to death of wasting more time and money and being disappointed again.

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June 9th:

I'm back in black, baby!

My teacher got back to me and, after many discussions, they're allowing me to complete the course!!! There is much to be done. I need to schedule my own ride-along, complete 100 assessments, do a new skills pass-off sheet, attend 12 hours of remediation, test all national skills, and show that I can work with strangers.

The main reason for the dismissal was my "difficulty working with strangers". BfreakingS! I was very good at hiding my immense discomfort, so they didn't observe that. The two other shenanigan reasons? I didn't attend my ride-along (well, 1: I was dismissed before my ride along took place, 2: I asked if I could still do it, and didn't get a definitive answer on the phone, and NO answer via email, 3: They refused to issue another ride along sheet anyway!!). Also, I failed to attend all the required hours (which is interesting, given that I attended enough remediation hours to make up a missed day and then some)?

I'm grateful for the second chance, of course, just baffled that it was even necessary.

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May 20th:

They won't let me graduate. I decided I would do my best where I could, and caught up on the 20 chapters in time. I also went ahead and took the final. I not only passed, I'm sure my score was near- perfect!

I called, they won't issue another ride-along form. In fact, they are dismissing me for "multiple reasons". I'm interested in what those are, because I'm only aware of not having vitals in and skills passed off - things, it seems, I have some extra time to do.

Still, it's very sad. I liked this stuff. I was doing well. I can see how invaluable it is to the Medicolegal field. And, even if I wasn't exactly outgoing, I was friendly. We'll see what they say. Just seems like they don't want to help me (or don't even believe my bag "story") at this point. As if I wanted to waste $1,000 and lose the best job I'll ever get.